Wiped out
Wiped out. That is how I felt most of this last weekend. Let me explain why. You know that you are a true computer geek if you can spend day after day and night after night stuck to your computer, furiously typing away cryptic computer code, doing vector math, finding and fixing evermore exotic problems in your program and still wake up every morning refreshed and ready for more. But you spend just a few hours socializing, meeting new people and making eye contact and it feels like bench-pressing 500 lbs. I went to three game development events last week and talked to quite a few people ranging from industry veterans, recent grads hunting for a job and hobbyists working on games just for fun. After that, I seriously could not even move a muscle after putting the girls to bed on Saturday and Sunday. A couple of evening naps and a nice outing on memorial day seem to have done the trick and I am feeling more like a person again. Right on time, because the scary part starts now.

Yes, the resumes have to go out. And yes, I would be shaking in my little cowboy boots if I still had them. A new version of the game-to-be has just been wrapped up, with little wolfies looking more like living creatures and not dummies on skates. It would be nice to have more time to polish everything (like, a year, or maybe five), but that ain't happening. It is hard to avoid the cliché and talk about all the "lessons learned". But it is true: I have learned quite a lot, and I do not mean just coding tricks, math formulas and the like. To truly learn how to make something, you have to go and make it. Perhaps I spent too much time learning about too many things at once and ending up using just a handful of them. But all those things I learned but did not use are burning a hole through my skull and just want to get out and create stuff. Now I NEED to use them. I NEED to practice them and get better. I do not want to stop doing this. Programming games is absolutely awesome! (Taking a deep breath and relaxing now, I'm OK, I'm OK).

Reality has a really annoying sobering quality. My wife and daughters are growing impatient. That little cat I promised to get after finding a job had better arrive soon! The car engine check light is on again. My first ever tooth filling is doing some really funny stuff. Holes are appearing in all of our clothes at alarming rates. Stuff is breaking left and right. Dude, I need a paycheck. So here goes nothing. The odds are tough, the economy a joke, and here goes the little game programmer wannabe on a mission. Game companies around Boston: get ready to be seriously spammed!